out of the five members (shame on you, Shuff! NB: He's since left the
band) turned up and one of the longest band internet chats in history
took place. Black Velvet managed to ask a few 'serious' questions amidst
a mass of drinking, vomiting and masturbation stories. The full transcript
cannot be revealed at present but will be used to bribe the band in
years to come (only joking).
Enter Alex Kane AKA A. Product, followed by Clare Pproduct and Simon
'The Gonk' Antiproductor (Milena-Yum arrived when we'd exhausted our
'Intelligent Questions File')
Why the double A side?
Alex: I always write tunes. It's the one thing I think I can do. So
you get more value for money. I'll always have more tunes and it might
give the uninitiated a better idea of what the band is, and they'll
be really fooled when they pick up the album and hear space themes and
bog news. Wow, I feel like a grown up now.
Tell Us About the new track you've written, 'Arms Around The World'.
A: Arms Around The World is a six minute song. It proudly boasts every
style of music popularised in the 20th and 21st centuries. We made it
for a compilation album and I thought the guy wanted a compilation song.
So there you go, as I'm fond of saying, it's the most ridiculous thing
ever to be organised.
After the upcoming tour, what's next on the agenda and the AntiProduct
plan for world domination?
A: My guess is sign a record deal, go to LA with this bunch of freaks
and make the next instalment in the plan We already got the studio booked
and the songs. It's just a matter of who will put it out, but it should
be out before the end of the year. More touring in different territories
is also something we're working on, and I've just started writing with
someone in LA.
What has been the high point of your career so far?
A: This chat would have to be the highlight. Actually, every day at
practice trying to build something and pretty much literally fighting
for it on a daily basis is the high point and it lets you know you're
alive. I'd have to say producing a song with Rick Nielsen playing guitar
was a professional highlight.
Rick Nielsen is cool. Is there anyone else you'd love to work with?
A: Yeah, I'd love to work with Jimmy Paige, Perry Farrell and any Beatle,
What thoughts and feelings run through your mind (and body) before you
go on stage?
Clare: I just look forward to getting up there and going mental!
A: To make a difference and empower or whatever word's cooler, as many
of us as possible. Show people what all of us are capable of and not
quit, not ever lose faith in ourselves, our friends and most certainly
our dreams, because except for tonight that's pretty much all we're
If you could go back in time to Alex aged 20, Clare aged 20 or Gonk
aged 20, what advice would you give him/her?
C: Try not to drink so much or take quite so many drugs. It's not good
Gonk: I would tell me to find Alex, Clare, Milena and Shuff and form
a band earlier!
A: I wish I could say I've changed but I haven't really. Sad. Never
ever give up and try to maintain a degree of wonder and naivity always.
What were you like as a teenager?
A: As a teenager, really f**kin' lonely.
G: As a teenager I was a lot thinner and had a bit more hair than I
have now. But I was obviously as handsome as I am now.
A: Actually I was very popular and a stud. Had more sex than there were
hours in the day to have sex with. Go figure.
C: I had no friends at school. I have no friends now. I am a social
outcast with no people skills at all whatsoever.
S: That's true!
A: Clare has a lot of people skills. If she weren't a musician, she'd
be a socialite.
Are you in touch with any of your old school friends?
A: Actually, yeah. Me and Grant Fujisawa from Chicago are still best
friends just like in high school. I even speak to my first ever chick
from around that time as well.
If you went on a 'Weekend Vacation On Mars', what would you take with
A: The band.
G: I would take David Bowie
and leave him there.
C: I'd stay with him.
A: A cell phone and a computer.
If you could wake up tomorrow morning having gained one quality or ability,
what would it be and why?
G: To be more patient and not so rude.
A: The ability to see the bulls**t and change the purveyors of such
without them realising or resenting it.
C: I would like to have ten years experience of playing the guitar behind
me so I didn't have to spend all my spare time playing scales.
How would you most like to be remembered?
G: As a drumming monster, second only to Moon and Bonham!
A: A a hung, rich, artsy type with friends like Tom Cruise and Jackie
C: As a great guitarist and a good friend.
more info on AntiProduct, visit the official web site at http://www.antiproduct.com.